Tag Archives: Kristen Buckley

I Came, I Saw, I Kicked Some Coachella Ass…

…But then I got home and promptly started this raw diet which took a lot out of me.  However, five days in and I’m starting to feel better and while I have SO much to say about Coachella, I decided that I’d go have a Nervous Breakdown and post a rant about the portrayal of women in movies and books instead.    So head over there and have a look.  Next week, I’ll get into my post Coachella detox.

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Right on Schedule

3 days to go… I feel I spiral coming.

I find free time to be problematic, as if I’m wasting time and I shouldn’t do that.  I’m not exactly sure why, but keeping busy, and being productive is sort of a mandate with me.  It’s not like I’ve got some Puritan Guilt thing, nor am I someone who has issues with pleasure, I guess I just find pleasure in being busy.  The problem is I exhaust myself, which is what happened today.  Seven loads of laundry, and the car is filled to the brim with stuff for Goodwill since I decided to rip apart the garage, and two closets.  Why can’t I just be the type of person who just comes home and has a cup of tea and glances at a magazine?

Oh well.  I did manage to get my Coachella schedule together.   Yes, I had to make some choices, but none of them were that tough.  Spoon vs Mutemath would have been tough – but thankfully I wasn’t forced into that corner.

p.s. – If you haven’t ever checked out Hypnotic Brass Ensemble I suggest you do.  They’re sort of like Blood Sweat and Tears without the vocals.  Hard not to love a band that has the tuba laying down all the grooves.  They remind me of Jaco Pastorius for some reason.

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Enter At Your Own Risk
 or… How Roller Skating Leads to Prostitution

Was there a time when Roller Skating was considered wholesome?

4 days to go… and this is what I’ve just seen on the Coachella website:

LATE NIGHT ROLLER SKATING PARTY

Please join us at the Down & Derby: A roller skate rink and party in CAMPING. It’s the best old school roller skating party this side of 1979!  Down & Derby will be open from 10PM to 3AM, Thurs night.  Free to all early campers!

DJ’s will be rocking your favorite roller rink hits from the 70’s and 80’s.
Enter at your Own Risk

Enter at your own risk.  Five very ominous words.  I’m sure you think that the “risk” they are referencing has to do with broken bones, but I know better…

A little background is probably in order.  In 5th grade Chip Marshall asked me to go roller skating.  Apparently there was a roller rink somewhere near where I lived in New Jersey, but I would be hard pressed to tell you where exactly.  Why is this?  Because my mother, a lapsed, yet repressed, Catholic, believed that the words “roller rink” were in fact code for “orgy”.  While my mother enjoyed the trappings of the free-wheeling 70s, (i.e. anti-war posters, batique art,  and chunky platform shoes) she had major issues with nudity, sex and roller rinks.  In her opinion, girls who went to roller rinks became prostitutes.   As a result, I was not allowed to go to the roller rink with Chip Marshall.  The romantic implications of this were swift.  Chip quickly moved on to Nancie McDonnell whose mother had no issue with her going to the roller rink, and for the record Nancie did not become a prostitute.

Of course it wasn’t the skating that my mother objected to, it was the roller rink itself that was problematic.  Apparently a roller rink was like a bordello with wheeled footwear.  My mom was very certain of this, “Things happen behind the bleachers,” she would say pointedly as if I were supposed to know exactly what was going on.  But I didn’t know what she meant.  Were they smoking? Or engaging in knife fights. I pictured it like West Side Story starring Pinky Tuskadero.

Still, I wanted to know what they were doing behind the bleachers (and why were there bleachers?).  From her tone, I thought that maybe she meant they were having sex, but when I said this to my mother she looked at me like I was crazy, “Not sex,” she said, “blow jobs.” Continue reading

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The Rules of the Game (part 2)

This type of tomfoolery is probably not allowed at Coachella

This type of tomfoolery is not permitted at Coachella

21 days to go until Coachella, so let’s take a look at the rules.

NO Instruments

(especially drums!!!)

This is strange, and something I’m not familiar with. At what point did bringing drums to a concert ever become an option?  Only Hari Krishna’s would travel with drums.  I don’t recall ever attending a concert and seeing people carting in drums.  I’m wondering if this is somehow tangentially related to the Matthew McConaughey naked bongo playing incident of 1999.

NO Knives / Weapons Etc.

I’m guessing this is to stave off Indie v Alt turf wars.

NO Chains / Chain Wallets

Are the concert promoters familiar with the general fan base?  This is not a Judas Priest marathon.

NO Blankets

Clearly, they are against any form of sitting during the concert, although this is probably in response to stampede issues.  Although what moron sits on a blanket while everyone else is standing, and frankly they should insist people bring blankets.  Everyone sits, no one gets hurt – there’s a reason why Kindergarten teachers do this.   Actually, now that I consider it, the no blanket rule may  function to prevent fornication during concerts.  I guess Tubbs and I won’t be recreating the birth of the Beer Goddess during the Gil-Scott Heron concert (which is really a drag). Continue reading

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